how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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