my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
