Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
