I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
