Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
