As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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