I showed him my bush... on skype.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
