your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so let's talk penis.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
