i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
