is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I understand Curling. That high.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
