so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
