Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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