i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
