they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
