I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
