Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
