Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
