I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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