Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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