Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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