Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
