No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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