never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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