kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
