when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
