If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
