Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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