I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Life is so much better after having sex.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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