If i could tip my vagina, i would.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
His nipple licking is glorious
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