Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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