Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
