How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Ketchup is God's man juice
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
