I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You're like the curious george of whores
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
