you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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