shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
