no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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