Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
