We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
