Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
