Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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