some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i think i just lost a toe
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
