his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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