my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
