My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
