yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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