I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
