At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
