1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
