so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I need moral support for this bender
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
