We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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